Wezumping

Announcing your engagement to friends, only for another couple to subsequently announce theirs AND an actual wedding date - thus nabbing the nuptial limelight

whitmore

a cocky waiter who memorises your order instead of writing it down - leaving you with the nagging feeling that he's bound to get something wrong

purves

rogue over-the-shoulder seatbelts in a black cab that won't budge whether pulled forcefully, teased gently or sworn at

purving - to tug pointlessly at said seatbelt whilst hoping the driver doesn't bump into anything

fruitile

The inevitability that 90% of clementines in a brimming fruitbowl will end up being thrown away

tubescence

the victorious feeling when an arriving tube comes to a standstill with its doors exactly where you are - giving you a clear run at the last available seat

half-butler

The joy at getting past the halfway point in a paperback

Neolojism

a new rude word

Choc bottom

To reach that point where you have eaten so much bad food (esp. over xmas) that you finally get the motivation to go on a diet/start exercising

loosing it

Annoyance at seeing lose invariably mis-spelt as loose

smessing up

Comic mis-spellings created by errant use of mobiles phones' inbuilt text dictionaries. e.g. I wolf you up this morning (woke)

Smessing up can be serendipitous - buffle is an improvement on cuddle, for example