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Helebarton

The crumb underneath your piece of paper that makes your writing go
funny at just the wrong moment

meme-jacking

To spot an emerging idea on the web, nicking it and then spinning it
for the mass-market - thereby making a quick, reliable and slightly
iffy buck.

Liftism

That moment where you nearly get out of the lift on the wrong floor

shoe sausage

A small ripple in one's in-sole that makes it painful to walk

maddress

that annoying field in a web form that asks you to type your email address a second time

Tubed

To be sent the long way round by direction signs on the Underground
when there are much quicker, unsigned routes

Jelly telly

Programmes that require minimal brain power to enjoy. Invaluable when whacked after a long week - eg, Inspector Morse repeats

Sighns

Toilet door signs with ambiguous graphics to deliberately blur the
distinction between the men's and women's.

(can theme pub designers just stop doing this? It was novel in the
1980s)

Paracoaster

A coaster that sticks to the bottom of your cup/glass and then
falls on the floor